Don't Look Down
The Other Room.jpg

The Other Room

For my girls, Emma and Ava. You save me, everyday. 

And for everyone who volunteered so much love and support along the way. You know who you are. I am eternally grateful.

We're still standing. And this is the story of what happened.  

Chapter 7 | Agents Of Calm

Between the intensity of the storms, he’d failed to notice her come in. She appeared gently in his peripheral view. Quiet. Noble, almost. He stared without looking as the Bar Man slowly prepared her glass of dry white wine.

 Leaning against his bar, he lowered his eyes and looked at them both inquisitively. Something moved in the shadows between these two. The connection was palpable, yet neither moved. Neither looked. Perfect Poker.

 And her arrival had seemed to lift the heaviness of the moment. The thunder and rain pounded on but a sudden dash of levity brought his face in concert with the warmth of the fire.  There might be some light to all this, after all.

 “I know what your thinking” he said, eyes fixed on the swirling gold marble of his whiskey. “But this doesn’t change anything. Not a thing.”

 “Always so stubborn” she replied, wine glass half to her mouth, or half way to the table depending on what chapter you came in on.

 He shuffled nervously on the bar stool, drawing in a long, deep breath.

 “Go on”; instructed the Bar Man. Taking to him, but looking at her. With a landlord’s authority.

(Dubai Media City. Thursday, May 18th, 2010)

It was another late evening in the office. To assuage the tension I’d given myself 30 minutes to dive wantonly down the social media rabbit hole. My intended subject was spirituality, and the Mayan prophecy for which I had developed a highly irregular enthusiasm.

The warren led me to YouTube. Click >>

“…so it’s about looking at our lives right here and now, and understanding that we are all contributing, to the whole of life. 

Through our vibrations, through our intentions, through our actions and through our emotions.  

And that everyone single one of us is an instrument of culture, and we all have a different piece to play in this puzzle.

We all have different gifts, different abilities, different skills.

So this is the time we must live aligned with our purpose.

And we find this purpose by following our joy, following our passion and our inspiration.

And we need to look within and find that truth, because that’s what we’ve got to bring to the whole.

And all that is unconscious is becoming conscious, and all that has been hidden is being revealed.

That means both the incredible Light that is now being exposed, but also the incredible darkness; the incredible wounds that are coming to the fore.

So these are very important times to be aware of our own wounds, our own pains, traumas and insecurities, the things within us that need to be purified, that need to be healed, resolved and integrated.

And these are very important times to do the deep work, of bringing light to our own shadows.

Because all of the personal traumas that we have all been through, all the deep wounding’s of our souls and our bodies are preparations and initiations, to support us in the enfoldment of our gifts coming through.

And we can respond to the world right now with great fear, or we can respond with great love.

This is our option. This is our option.

To come at life from our linear minds, that are very very scared and want figure everything out.

Or to come at it from our compassionate selves, with our ancient hearts.

That know that this life is a great mystery, and that surrenders to the mysterious nature of this universe.

And the truth is, that the only way to really know how to navigate during these times of great uncertainty, is to find our own hearts.

Our hearts hold the key.

Our hearts are aware, and deeply, intimately feel the unification and the connection of all of life.

Our hearts know how to live in respect and harmony with all of life.

And I also want to share that the Ancient Hawaiians had a prophecy, that says there would come a time on the planet where there would be so much chaos it would be necessary for many to arise as ‘Agents of Calm’.

 I feel that it’s very clear that these times have arrived.

The chaos and turbulence is every where, whether we look around us at all the natural disasters, all the environmental crisis, all the wars and all the physical and spiritual suffering of peoples all over world.

Or we look inside of us, at our own inner-turbulence, our own stresses, our own concerns. 

 So it is essential that we discipline ourselves to find how to be an Agent Of Calm.

 And this means looking at ourselves every moment of every day, and understanding what energies are we bringing to our lives.

We need to deeply use our time in meditation, and to prey, in whatever way we feel moved to prey.

We need to focus on centering ourselves. 

 And we need to find our breath.  We need to find our breath over and over again.

 We also need to be more aware of how we treat our bodies during these times. 

 To really nourish ourselves, to take care of ourselves, to give ourselves water, organic food, rest, movement, and to support ourselves emotionally during these times.

 And part of being an Agent Of Calm is to surrender that these times are deeply accelerated, they’re very intense, and they’re accelerated for a reason.

 And you need to not resist that or fight against that, but to surrender to that and understand that as we see all these things play out around us that these are times of accelerated change and complexity, and we are here to be the Agents of Calm.

 And we need to use that to both cultivate a connection to the spiritual realms, that transcend death.

 To understand that we are spirit, we are not simply our bodies.

 And also to use the reality of death to come back to being grateful for these precious moments, here and now, when we are alive.

 And part of being an Agent of Calm is about deep gratitude. 

 Gratitude for the challenges we are facing.

 Gratitude for the blessings we are given. 

 And gratitude for the opportunity to participate during these auspicious times on the planet.” 

Eden Skye.

There it was. One women’s spiritual soliloquy, humbly recorded a few days earlier from her tiny wind swept spec of Canada, percolated its way up through the Youtube abyss to find a willing and needing audience of one, 7200 miles to the East.

I can’t remember exactly how I found it. But all of a sudden my world was turned upside down. For the next few months I was tormented and lifted in equal measure. Split into two existences. Cruelly deracinated from a place of stability I had fought hard to establish, in a Dubai that was still choking on its self-inflicted, economic affixation.  

It had been many years since I had been so moved by an idea. It gave words and meaning to so much that troubled me about myself, and the world. But as much as it shed light on the many questions I had been asking myself, it also poured scorn on much of what I lacked. I would often sit on my own, listening and blinking wildly at what it was I was supposed to do with the depth and urgency of the information.  Privately obsessed with the ideal, yet weighed down with a conflicting lack of intellect to manifest it with suitable impact and conviction.

Despite proving to be an invaluable light and source of determination during the very dark times to follow, the potential of the Agents of Calm message, and what to do with it, torments me to this day. I’ve put it music. Crafted a code of living and wellness built around its central tenants, and built a web site in an attempt to share it. And there was the online store, that sold T-shirts brandished with lines from the narrative. But nothing tipped. Nothing gathered momentum. No-one, other than Eden or myself, seemed to care. Maybe they aren’t supposed to. Maybe it’s supposed to remain dedicate and private.

Either way, it continues to be both a source of pride and shame, inspiration and frustration, light and darkness. Yet above and beyond the tension, Agents of Calm was and continues to be, an inestimably precious wellspring of strength and guidance during this wonderfully tragic story. One day, from another place, I may come to understand that it did indeed, save my life.